Sunday, February 28, 2010

Sunday Sweets: Alice in Wonderland

Sunday, February 28, 2010

In honor of the impending movie, some curiously wonderful Wonderland Sweets:

Love the heart sprinkles, and that pocket watch is perfect!

(By Studio Cake)

The cutest card soldier you'll ever see.

More lovable characters:

(Found here, but the baker isn't listed.)

(That whisker 'stache is hilarious!)

(By Ken's Oven, who reports that this was his very first sculpted cake. Sweet!)

I've had a soft spot for the Queen of Hearts ever since John and I made elaborate Queen & cards costumes one year for Halloween. (We roped a gaggle of guys into going as cards, too, so we made quite the impression marching en masse through Disney.) So naturally, I had to find some Queen cakes:

(By Artisan Cakes by E.T.)

Such great detailing!

And here's the classic Disney version:

(By Socake)

One of my favorite characters in the Disney film was the talking doorknob, so I love this:

(By Caxperiments)

What a cute cookie!

And lastly, a fan favorite from the CW archives:

(By the always amazing Cake Nouveau)

- Similar Sweets: Cake Nouveau

Have a Sweet to suggest? E-mail it to me at Sunday Sweets (at) Cake Wrecks (dot) com.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Clean-Up on Aisle 12

Friday, February 26, 2010

Parental Note: Today's Wreck may expand your child's vocabulary in some unsavory ways.

When Steve S.'s coworker received a transfer to a different branch, the store decided to get the coworker a going-away cake. The inscription was your typical "You make our store better!" kind of thing.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem, no matter how badly the Wreckerator mangles the inscription.

But then, normally the company in question is NOT BJ's Wholesale Club.

Which, naturally, someone chose to abbreviate.

Lunch break just got awkward.

I would like to point out that Steve submitted this Wreck because "better" looks like "bitter" - and he thought that was funnily appropriate. And it is, but clearly Steve's mind did not go to the gutter where the rest of ours are. (More's the pity.)

- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job

Thursday, February 25, 2010

World's Worst Pictionary Players

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Seriously - don't let any of these Wreckerators on your team.

On the one hand, I know this is probably supposed to be a car.

On the other hand... are you frickin' kidding me?

You know that control panel on Darth Vader's chest plate - the thing with all the boxes and lights? Yeah, that. Well, imagine that mashed up with a guitar, only they're both made out of balloons. Or maybe jelly beans. Got it? Can you see it? Good.

Now, tell me...does the thing you're imagining...look something like this?

Yes? No?
A-hah! Dang, I'm good.

Ok, here's where things get interesting: Go grab your friends/co-workers/family members, and see who can correctly identify these objects the fastest (if at all). Answers are at the bottom.




Time's up!

How'd you do? Here are your answers:

1) A hand mixer. Or possibly a hair dryer. But probably a hand mixer.

2) Ballet slippers

3) A helicopter

4) I have no idea. Really. Your guess is as good as mine. (Ugly little bugger, though, isn't it?)

Heather E., Anne D., Lisa O., Leah C., Tessa, & Jenny, if you're lucky enough to live near Austin, Texas, you simply MUST go to the That Takes The Cake show this weekend. Their theme this year is Science Fiction & Fantasy, people. I hear someone is making a gumpaste Zaphod Beeblebrox. I mean, come ON. Could that BE any cooler?

- Related Wreckage: Cue Cards, Please?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

It's In There

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sometimes you readers ask, "Yes, but don't they TASTE good?"

Honestly? No idea. And with this blog being about purely visual gags, I'm sure most of you - like me - don't really care what the wrecks taste like.

However, a few of our readers have discovered that, sometimes, the true Wreck can be found on the inside:

There's more than one way to level a cake.
(Pass the icing, Beth D.)

Still - and here's a little foreshadowing for you - at least everything there is edible.

Heheh. Aheh. Heh.

Oh, yes.


Not to be cutting, but finding scissors in your birthday cake is shear madness!

Poor Amy L.; the store accused her of planting these in the cake herself. And really, you can see why; just look at all the fame and fortune she's acquired since!

(That was sarcasm, y'all; she didn't get anything.)

Here's a tip from Bella, the good sport:

Even a cake this yummalicious...


...can be wrecked when you forget to remove the parchment paper.

Well, we all need more fiber in our diets, right, Bella?

And really, it could have been worse. It could have been someone's wedding cake...

..and the paper could have been so thick that the caterers couldn't cut through it, resulting in messy globs of red velvet cake which they had to scoop onto plates to serve. And it could have cost $500.

Yep, that would definitely have been worse. Right, Stacey F.?

(Sorry I don't have a pic of the inside - but then, the outside's not so great either, is it?)

So, my dear Wreckies, the next time you're in the market for a cake, remember: looks aren't everything. Oh, and if you're in need of some craft supplies, you might just get lucky. (Fingers crossed!)

- Related Wreckage: Wrecks on Display

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Literal Letter of the Law

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

On the plus side, at least we know these bakeries are taking notes.

Aw, nuts.

Ok, so they have no idea what the notes mean, but they are taking them.

"Bring it in the a.m."

Heh. And I thought *I* wasn't a morning person.

Ah, the mind of a Wreckerator.

"It's a good thing they're buying a big sheet cake; otherwise there's no way this would all fit!"

(Note: those clover-looking things in "40th" are supposed to be hearts.)

Michele K., Sandy S., & Laurisa R., you know what these Wrecks need? More candles. Srsly. Step it up, ladies.

- Related Wreckage: The Problem with Phone Orders

Monday, February 22, 2010

Wrecking By the Book

Monday, February 22, 2010

When ordering a cake at your local bakery, you may be given a big picture book to choose from. This could cause you some concern: will your cake look as nice as the one in the photo?

Well, never fear, cake consumer! I'm here to help. Now, will your cake look exactly like the one in the book? YES. Absolutely.

Er, with a few caveats, of course.

Caveat #1: Perspective is all relative.
(scroll down)

And to think: you were worried!

Caveat #2: Designs are open to interpretation.

I could be wrong, but I think this translates roughly to, "I hate my job, and you by association."

Caveat #3: The toy is all that matters.

Just look at that icing sky. Perfection!

Caveat #4: No, seriously. THE TOY IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

[sound of head hitting desk repeatedly]

Caveat # 5: On Wild Card Wednesdays, anything goes.

Really? Seriously? This can't be real...[flipping through proof file] Here it is. Hmm. Ahuh. Ahuh. Yeah. Really? No way. Seriously? They told her the Tinkerbell figurine didn't come with the cake?!? Haven't they seen caveats 3 and 4? I mean, C'MON!


Paige, I am so sorry for you.

Thanks to Wreckporters Aimee S., A.E., Cecily C., Kelli R., and, of course, Paige T.

- Related Wreckage: The Joker's Revenge

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Seussical Sweets

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Do you like cake,
And do you like Dr. Seuss?
Can you not bake,
But only gawk like a goose?

Then, I have a surprise!
(One aimed to please)

Just open your eyes,

And take a
gander at these!

(By our amazingly talented non-pro, Breanna K.)

(By The Quaint Cake Co.)

(Submitted by Marisa S., & made by Planet Cake. [I'm in awe of those water droplets.])

Well, we're all out of time,
And that's probably best for you,
Since my ability to rhyme,
Is frankly less than impressive.

- Similar Sweets: Defying Gravity

Friday, February 19, 2010

Otherwise Engaged

Friday, February 19, 2010

In all fairness, who doesn't want to look like a hot Victoria's Secret babe on her bridal shower cake?

Although with those silver eyes, white lips, and hair streaks, Lubna is looking more like a bridal banshee. Assuming that "bridal" = "bikini" of course. (Hey, it's happened before...)

At least Lubna gets a rockin' bod on her cake, though. As opposed to... well, a rockin' bod:

Behold, the bridal shower weeble wobble!!

Yep, this cheeky little lady salutes all Wreckerators who would pipe icing over a lace-wrapped cake board.

Still, which is worse, ladies? Bad bridal thongs, or raiding your toddler's toy chest?

Wowza. There's so much unidentifiable pellet flotsam on this thing, I'd be looking for rogue bunnies nearby.

Well, never mind which is worse - because this one beats them all, hands down:

Just take a card, and back away slowly.

Jonora A., Megan S., Anony M., & Travis D., isn't it nice to get these things off your chest?

- Related Wreckage: This One's for the Girls

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wacked Out Wrecks

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Some days you've really got to wonder: just what are they doing in bakeries these days?

And more importantly: if we ask, will they share?

After all, anyone who makes something like this:

(Blueberry iced cupcakes topped with wrapped cinnamon gum? Score!) clearly beyond the party-pooping cares of "reality."

In fact, sometimes I come across a cake so bizarre, so insane, so what-were-they-thinking?? nuts, that I have no choice but to tip the ol' metaphorical hat in respect.

A Styrofoam cup embedded in mold-flecked balls of yellow "soda" surrounded by a poo wall?

[tipping hat] Well played, master Wreckerator. Well played.

Megan A., Desiree C., & Amber T., I wouldn't recommend zooming in on that "soda" unless you're on a diet.

- Related Wreckage: Merci!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Cakes Only A Mother Could Love

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I think the following cakes are really special. Like seeing a beautiful newborn for the first time, these baby shower cakes leave me… well, speechless.

What a coincidence! E.T. was on my TV today, too!

Ethan... phone home...
(and tell your parents Jersey Shore called. They want their tan back.)

"Hi, bakery? I have a baby shower coming up. Do you make cupcakes?"

"Baby shower CUP cakes? Yeah. We can 'handle' that."

If you squint your eyes, it’s actually not a baby at all, but a bronzed, muscular man in a wife-beater popping out of the cup. See it? See it? Let’s call him Joe. He must be posing for his mug-shot. Just look at those eyes! He really knows how to espresso himself, doesn't he?

Thanks to Dawn M. for finding these little bundles of joy. It's been a latte fun!

- Related wreckage: The Creepiness Continues