Thursday, July 23, 2009

This Should Even Things Out

Thursday, July 23, 2009

After all the gorgeous Harry Potter cakes we've been featuring the past two Sundays, I figured we should tip the Wreckage scales back into balance.

[brushing hands off] Yep, that oughta do it!


Ok, one more:

Oh, good, they included the famous "three orange volcanoes" from the books/movies! Can't have a Harry Potter cake without those, now, can you?

What's that? There ARE no volcanoes - orange or otherwise - in the books or movies? Oh.

Well, then at least they have the big, green...smokestack? No...field! I think it's a field. That grows straight up. Er, because it's a "magical" land. Yeah.

[shifty eyes]

No?

Well, then, how about all those randomly scattered, teensy little photo circles of Ron, Harry, & Hermione? Now those really are "magical." [nodding earnestly]

What, those don't work for you either?

[frustrated sigh] Look, bub, it says "Harry Potter" on it in big frickin' letters. What more do you want? Now shell out the $21.50 and learn to deal, Ok?


Amy B. & Monique R., have you ever wondered who would win in a Harry vs Voldemort RAP BATTLE? Then watch this and find out. (And here's hoping I'm not the only one who thinks the Dark Lord's rhymes are way sweeter.)
Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

I think those little faces are miniature pogs. Either that or they flash "Support Cedric Diggory" and "Potter Stinks".


myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

Catmania said...

Wow - the first one reminded me strongly of Jerry Lewis as the nutty professor, at least the writing was pretty though. I am speechless on the second one, H/P meets Three Mile Island, maybe?

frigglesnitz said...

Well, the lettering on the first on is spot on, but Harry..well...I'm not wild about Harry.

WV- blatin The blatin disregard for anything Potteresque in the second cake is inexcusable.

Kerrie said...

Okay, first this is a full sheet cake base price is $80.00 it will serve 60 to 80 people. the little pictures are actually rings from the third movie. And finally the person who paid for this cake should have complained to the store manager and gotten a refund for at least half the price of the cake. I'll assume that the decorator got the flavor right. Doire's Mon

crustee said...

That first one is to DIE for. I have never laughed harder. But I do believe the look the wreckerator was trying to portray the book "Harry Potter and the Chromosomal Disorder." Obviously.

Judy said...

I particularly like the mental hospital colours of pale aqua and lavender on the first cake. Coincidence? I think not!

Miranda said...

Bahahahahahaha it looks like Harry licked a funny stamp!

Jael said...

The teeth on the first one. NIGHTMARES.

Anonymous said...

Those poor unsuspecting children. That is the real tragedy here, someone is going to receive those cakes....

Becky

Nichole Loves Cake said...

OMG, they made Harry into an albino hunchback with a mouth-breathing problem. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Those volcanos look like candy corn.

Anonymous said...

oooooooooooooooooooooohhh! you're voting for the dark lord?! shame on you!

Nicki said...

Wow, that first one is amazingly horrid. 0.0

Fluffy Cow said...

Harry has three lips.

trisha said...

I like how they had to put that little plastic Harry Potter pick in the top left corner of the first one. cuz otherwise nobody would know what it was supposed to be. His teeth and general mouth region are very disturbing

Tigerwolf said...

The first one? Harry Potter and the Evil Mimes of Muggledom. Yep, that's gotta be it.

^..^

WV: maxate. I can't believe maxate the whoooooole thing!

VillageMom said...

AhHAHA! Ugly evil cakes! So much more apt than dressing evil up in ribbons and fondant and talent.

Anonymous said...

The first one makes me think of the "It's Pat" character from SNL!!!

Wide Awake Wife said...

The first one looks more like Quasimodo than Harry Potter!! lol



mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

On the second cake, I love that care was taken to write "Harry Potter" in Gryffindor's colors, but the rest of the cake has nothing to do with the books or the movies...Except the floating heads...obviously they're all partially under invisibility cloaks!

Etiquette Bitch said...

too funny! I can just imagine the scenario that resulted in CW2 -- "they said they wanted a Harry Potter cake!"

"okay." (wreckerator picks up piping bag and proceeds to write "Harry Potter" on volcano/field cake that did not sell yesterday, and then throws some little HP pictures on for good measure.)

Amanda said...

Wow. The first cake is pretty nice - if it had a Disney Princess or something other than "special Harry" on it.

And let's not get started on the second one...

caronae said...

I think perhaps the second cake is a bird's eye view of the lake and surrounding grass? And the volcanoes were just added in wrong? The first one is alright, I guess...

SarahKD said...

I am absolutely not defending the second cake (or the first one, for that matter) but wonder whether the 3 orange volcanoes are the tips of the quidditch canvas grandstands? Maybe? I have no explanation for the flying heads.

kalany said...

I think the second one is supposed to be the Marauder's Map.

I think that blue is supposed to be the lake outside Hogwarts. It looks very much like a section from one of the maps of the Hogwarts grounds. The thing on the bottom (the three volcanos) could be either Hogwarts or Hogsmeade, depending on whether we're looking north or south. Then we have little icons of people wandering about. See? Marauder's Map.

No, I don't know why the lake has clouds. But it makes somewhat more sense....

wv: wabir. The love child of a wombat and a tapir. For visual reference, see cake#1.
Try #2: fonond. I love checking cakewrecks because I'm fonond of the fondant.

Winona said...

Well, at least they got the correct Gryffindor colors in the "Harry Potter" part.

Nicki said...

Wow, I just noticed the really cool looking border around the first one, sadly, though, it doesn't do much for the monstrosity that is the rest of it!

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha... the first one looks like a harry potter window cling! you know the ones ppl put in the back window of thier car that make it look like the took off to fast and the cat splattered on it. ha ha ha ha ha.....

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Oh no... he's so... hideous :|

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

The first "Harry" looks like he has bad breath.

A Paperback Writer said...

Wait. Isn't that top cake actually a portrait of Harry's long-lost nerdy brother Melvin?

CassiB said...

No words available for #1. #2 looks like they took a Dora the Explorer map cake and made it into a Harry Potter one. multitasker that's what it is!

Perpetual Mommy Exhaustion said...

Kerrie-What rings?

Secondly, I'm pretty sure the second cake has reference to "The Pyramids of Format," "The Fortress of Shadows," and the magnificent "Pillar of Storge."

Eva said...

"Fluffy Cow said...

Harry has three lips."

I saw it and now I can't un-see it! D:

(I feel like that a lot around here)

April said...

Wait...is that Harry Potter or Super Mario 3?

TeDiouS said...

The saddest part of the first cake is that it has THE prettiest icing writing I have ever seen, but you're too distracted looking at the result of Harry getting hit in the face with a bludger to really notice.

Melinda said...

I'm not a huge Potter fan, and even I know these are unrecognizable. Yuck. Must agree with everyone on the pretty writing though.

East of Eden said...

Come on, don't you remember, Harry, Ron and Hermonie, meet up with Frodo and Sam on the way to Mt Doom to throw the ring in the fires, and all defeat Voldemort together,...I'm sure that's what that decorator thought....right??

Twihard said...

Ok The first would of been a pretty good cake if it weren't for the disasterous harry portrait. No explanation for the second one. It looks like they knew NOBODY would guess it was HP cake so they just threw on the little pictures. Again I gotta say it tho since ur showing so many HP cakes I think u need some stuff for the twilight fans! Like me.

Carol said...

No, Jen....you aren't the only one who thinks Voldemort's rhymes were way better!!!

Debbi said...

Oh Wow. Nightmares for sure after seeing that first one. Even when I close my eyes it won't go away. Never thought I'd say this but I am kinda wishing for the Dead Man Cake to come back ...

Jackleen the Chloreen Queen said...

Second cake - sky with clouds or lake with foam?

http://www.chloreenqueen.blogspot.com/

Amy said...

Those are awful. LOL

~Amy B.

Mandy said...

Maybe the orange volcanoes are the actually the spires of Hogwarts?

*grasping at straws here*


LOVIN' the nose, lips, and teeth on the Harry cake.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Is it me or are they trying to make Harry into a Dementor in the 1st cake?

Suddenly all the happiness was sucked from me looking at that thing. *shudder*

Dippy's Mom said...

The Dark Lord does, in fact, rock the rap!

Anonymous said...

I can't stop laughing about that first one. ANd the comments. THANKS all of you who commented on Hp's mouth debacle.

THis made my morning. I thought somebody had punched him in the face, he kind of has cauliflower lips or something going on. Lily

Terri Rogers said...

Wow... there are seriously no words for that. As we say here in the South, Harry got hit with the ugly stick. I haven't seen the new movie yet, does he get diagnosed with some sort of glandular problem? And I love the little extra special black eyeliner under is left eye... yikes!

wv: essadles. Hope that wreckerator gets back in essadles again!

Chris (Mombie) said...

Why do they have a pic of DNAmy from Kim Possible on a Harry Potter cake? :)

https://www.apoxi.com/lighthouse/Avatare/DNAmy.gif

Anonymous said...

And a bat settled upon his head! I meant to say that, the first HP has a bat tenaciously clinging to his head. Lily

Cottagecheap said...

Is it me or did UGLY betty and Harry Potter have a VERY ugly child together?

Passion Fruit said...

I just need to look at that face on the first cake and I have laughs for a lifetime!


Brianna M.


http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com

DangGina said...

As fugly as cake #1 is, I could take it in good humor. Cake #2 would piss me off incredibly though. What the AYCH?!

Elizabeth said...

I don't know about you, but that 3D background in the top right corner of the first one really sells that cake for me. But you don't really notice it because you're too busy trying to decide which ugly spell Harry got hit with.

You have to admit, at least the first wreckerator tried. The second looks like it was just slapped together.

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

Nichole LOVES Cake said...

Me again...

I love the randomly placed circle pictures of Harry, Ron and Hermione on the last cake. lol! So weird. The cake would almost be good if: no circle photo things, no volcanos, no huge "Harry Potter" across the entire cake, and a mini Hogwarts beside the forrest.

Holly said...

C'mon people! CW#1 is clearly just Harry after Hermione put the stinging hex on him when the snatchers came to get them. I can totally tell because of those outrageously large lips (there really are 3, aren't there?) and nostrils. Duuuhhh! Now his powers include super human tasting and smelling skills - he can taste/smell anything within a 200 mile radius! Go Harry!

Nichole said...

i looked at the first picture without reading any of the text and thought it was yet another lousy michael jackson tribute... oh dear.

Abbey G. said...

what's with the scenery stuck to the top right-hand corner of the first cake? at least i think it's scenery...

i'm going to have nightmares about ugly harry tonight.

Tags said...

For sheer awkwardness, Harry Potter's personalized pastoral volcano scene is right on par with an episode of Popeye when Bluto was reading a Playboy magazine with a cameo picture of Olive Oyl's face on the cover.

I feel strangely beguiled and revolted.

missyjreed said...

@Cottage Cheap -
You beat me to it! I was thinking Ugly Betty!

Anonymous said...

Crustee said: "But I do believe the look the wreckerator was trying to portray the book "Harry Potter and the Chromosomal Disorder." Obviously."

...that's what I thought, too. 0_o

Julie said...

#2 must be for the sequel, "Harry Potter and the Melting Traffic Cones".
Yeah, that's the ticket.

Little Lovables said...

That's hilarious!! I think Harry Potter reminds me most of Piggy from Lord of the Flies. truly

But since you pulled in the Potter rap, have you ever seen the two anti Walmart, er... Lord Waldemart vs Harry videos?

Hilarious!!!

http://walmartwatch.com/potter/

David M. said...

It's okay, they're not volcanoes but mountains! Orange mountains. With yellow snow. Hmm. Okay, never mind.

:::b r a n d i::: said...

Ok, so if the green is a field, then the blue must be water...so the orange cones must be safety rafts. I am not sure what the floating clouds could be. Wait. Ok so the blue is sky, and the white clouds, and the 3 giant safety cones...so the green must be the wall that signifies the edge of the earth. Or maybe it's the hole in the ozone layer.

Skye said...

I agree with the first commentor- the mini faces totally look like pogs!!! Do those still exist?

JeffB said...

Initial reaction to the first cake:
"wow, pretty bad...GAH! There's lettering on there!"

Leah Hollett said...

BA-hahahhahahaha! Those cakes are too much! And the rap battle... I am laughing so hard I can hardly type! He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had some pretty sweet ryhmes but nothing beats expecto partronum. LOLOLOL! Thanks Jen you rock (or maybe rap?!?)

Bree said...

The first cake looks like Weird Al dressed as Harry Potter. Shame...the colors and the writing are pretty.

That second cake looks like somebody's really weird dream.

Anonymous said...

What hurts the most?

The fact that the first cake would be utterly gorgeous if they'd left off "Harry."

~JaDe

Christina said...

First of all, thank you for bringing on the Harry wrecks!
The first cake clearly shows Harry under the effect of the cruciatus curse. The second one... I'm going to make a stretch and say that's the giant squid's tentacles reaching up from the lake. Yeah, that's it.
WV: grabso-an inappropriate spell used by cheeky wizards.

WATERBABY CHRISTINE said...

Anonymous, why are we the only ones that identified the giant candycorns? I want that piece! Mmmmm, love me some candycorns!

WV: expentat. No expentature was spared on getting just the right shade of orange on those candycorns.

Karen said...

I just showed the first one to my daughter who will be 8 in 6 weeks. I told her I was getting her that cake for her birthday. The look on her face was priceless.

Great new use for Cake Wrecks: Scare little kids with what could be their next cake!

Alison said...

The first one - the 3D "scene" in the top right seems to have been taken from a cake topper set:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CS04HE/002-0357841-8427209

Scarily enough, I recognized this due to having used it for my kid's birthday a few years ago. The grocer-store decorator used the example cake photo as inspiration, and it wasn't that pretty a result, either.

And you know, it looks like cake #2 used that as inspiration - there seem to be orange volcanoes in it? And - ugh - there were in kidlet's cake a few years ago, too, now that I look back!

Jacqueline said...

I think I might crack open "Harry Potter and the Three Orange Volcanoes," you know if it was a slow day...

And while the Potter/Voldemort rap battle is pretty sweet, it's got nothing on A Very Potter Musical.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwM_AKeMCk&feature=PlayList&p=C76BE906C9D83A3A&index=0&playnext=1

Aunt of 14 said...

Someone mentioned Marauder's Map fdor cake #2. I agree! And the "volcanos" could be a quidditch tornament stand. And I think the wrecker was trying to make this cake 3-D by placing clouds over the lake... for a birds eye view. Or something. Cake #1, I am at a loss for words. That cake would be GORGEOUS except for Harry!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your blog! Too funny. Now, one of two things (or both) is probably going to happen. 1) I am going to start making my own cakes, because seriously I can do a really horrible job all by myself for a whole lot less money and aggravation and 2) I am probably going to get fired for spending way too much time checking out your blog. This is great stuff!

Anonymous said...

The little plastic faces are actually cheap plastic rings. I have one at my desk! I got mine perched atop a "Harry Potter" cupcake.

Morrigan Le Fey said...

The first one does remind me of Harry being hit by one of Ginny's Bat Bogey curses. But did anyone also notice the Puss in Boots eyes he's sporting there? The lettering and borders are really pretty though.

The second one...well, no words can even come close to describing what the wreckorator must have been thinking when they 'wreckorated' the cake. Really the only way people would know that it was a Harry Potter cake is the giant 'Harry Potter' scrawled across the middle and the strange little face disks. Why would someone ask to have 'Harry Potter' written through the middle of the cake instead of something like 'Happy Birthday' or whatever?

Harry Vs. Voldemort rap was awesome! Ol' Voldy had the better rhymes, but the Expecto Partronum was pretty sweet. I loved the end when Voldemort cast the Killing Curse on everyone and then wondered why he didn't do that in the first place. Too funny! Thanks Jen!

sendingtheclowns said...

Now, y'all just don't GET it!
The last BOOK is out, see?
Harry is no longer a baby, a child, or a teen.
He is all grown up.
In fact, he's quite ELDERLY, now...
And, he dyes his hair--all that publicity went to his head, and he's really quite vain.
The mouth *issue* happened when this cake decorator caught him off-guard ("YO! Potter! Over HERE--SMILE!") and snapped the unfortunate photo, which was put into cake form, as you see before you (Exhibit A).
Just so happened that poor Mr. Potter's dentures were slipping when the picture was taken.
Happens to the best of us.
=^--^=
P.S. There is no Exhibit B. Be thankful.

Sharon said...

You're all cruel people. Harry and Ginny got married and had children. This is one of their children. As you can see, he's a bit 'special' The other two were quite ordinary and unremarkable in every way. This is the only one that had adventures worth noting.

Kerri said...

I thought the first one was Michael Jackson with glasses.

Ashley said...

Voldemort wins the rap!

Anonymous said...

MY EYES MY EYES!!! well....Voldemort couldn't do it. But apparently the common every day grocery store baker can

Anonymous said...

The first one reminds me of Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks!

Lisa said...

When I saw the first cake, before I read the text, I was sure you were doing "Ugly Betty" cakes today!

Lorraine said...

Well, the scroll work border on the first cake was well done, except for the colors, but nicely wrought, anyway.

klixtopher said...

i think the first one looks more like ugly betty. :)

WolfenM said...

Oh good! I was hoping you were doing something potter-themed for Daniel Radcliffe's birthday today! :D I wonder if *he's* ever gotten a cake wrek ....

Melanie said...

What's sad about the first one is, that apart from the horrible Harry (and the stand-ups really need to go, too) the decoration on the cake is just gorgeous! I love the colors, the swirly piped edge is so well done and the lettering is perfect. So what happened to the rest of the poor thing?!

Kaishay said...

I saw that Vid a couple of weeks ago.

Harry got pwned!

Bunnysmom said...

hhhmmm I think the second cake may have been a really bad Dora the Explorer cake that they just stuck some Harry Potter stuff on....???? Maybe???

Tisha said...

Yes! This made my day!

I've been hoping for some Harry Potter wrecks ever since the good cakes were posted.

Anonymous said...

The first one reminds of Fat Albert and the gang.

Becca said...

Actually, I loved the heated HP book discussion on the first Sunday Sweet's post! In order to balance things out, I think we should all be on the lookout for John Steinbeck Cakes, James Joyce Cakes, and Jesus Cakes. I know they're out there. Go Jen Go!

Summer said...

I like the Harry Potter cake..=D Lovely!

Summer
A Writers Den
The Brown Mestizo

Stephanie said...

I'm not a Harry Potter fan, but I have to admit those made me laugh. :)

Judy said...

Have you seen "the faces of Meth" ? This is Harry after Meth.

here's the link:

http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/DrugIssue/MethResources/faces/index.html

Christi L. said...

Those aren't volcanoes, they are TEEPEE's, HELLO! McFLY! THe teepee scenes were my favorites in the 8th movie.

lol!

desibarbossa said...

Ugh, I remember seeing that first one when I did a Google image search on 'Harry Potter cakes' to see if anyone had done good ones. (Which, obviously they have :)) Poor, poor Harry, he looks like a white Steve Urkel. I wonder what the poor birthday kid thought of it?

Not sure what's going on with the second, though I'll agree with others and say it does kind of look like the grounds and lake outside Hogwarts. But the volcanoes . . . wow. Maybe the wreckerator got HP mixed up with Lord of the Rings and decided to draw Mordor and Mt. Doom.

Anonymous said...

The Harry Potter wreck is actually quite a pretty cake without that face. The twinkling stars, the yummy colours, the gorgeous piping... if only they'd stopped there.

Hanna said...

You know what's strange? I found another cake that looks like CW2 - same orange volcanoes, same weird green stuff: http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/wbsbrandmanagement/entry/harry_potter/

Maybe what we're seeing here is the result of some Chinese Whispers-like effect? I'll do some more searching and get to the bottom of this! :P

Hanna said...

Things get weirder. It's a Make-Your-Own-Harry-Potter-Cake kit, or something.

http://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Cakes-Yourself-ThePartyWorks-com/dp/B000CS04HE

LunaChick said...

Woo-hoo! A cake I submitted made it to the blog.

Yes, you can thank me for the nightmares that first cake brought you. No I didn't make or buy it, thank goodness. I just found it on the wide wide world of web.

Anonymous said...

Apparently they actually sell a kit to make the second cake:

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000CS04HE.01-AI7IMMNOYD0Q._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1140219463_.jpg

Anonymous said...

I seriously thought that first one was Ugly Betty!

Tiger said...

Actually, I'm with Harry on the rap.

Anonymous said...

Lord V WAS way sweeter...

and those cakes were way Not sweeter.

Is there a way to search cakes on CW?

Cupcakes Lady said...

Does Harry has three lips?? Im thinking he has...for some reason! ;) xx