Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Back to Basics

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sometimes we look so hard for Wrecks we fail to see the forest for the trees, as it were. After all, it doesn't take crazy sculpted nonsense or illiterate scrawlings to make a Wreck; sometimes all you need is a healthy dose of what I like to call "the fugly":

For a baby shower, no less.


Green streaked nastiness AND a cupcake cake. Wow, Heather, you scored big.



Die, tie-dye! Die!
(You know, I bet a lot of you are going to like this one. Well, rest assured I won't be calling you a tasteless hippie if you do; I'll just give you one of my patented sardonic looks. Like this: [sardonic look]. Crippling, isn't it?)



I actually made something like this once. Of course, it was with finger paints, and I was three at the time, but still...


Amanda, Anne M., Elizabeth C., & Miranda C., I'm sure these cakes are all beautiful on the inside.

Ok, that's a lie. But I'd still eat them.
Unknown said...

i do admit i like the tie dye cake- except for the wonky borders and lovely moldy green sides... and the flourescent yellow bottom trim.

okay wait, let me rephrase... i do admit i like the TOP of the tie dye cake. that must have taken mad patience. except it's kinda crooked.

okay wait, let me rephrase... i do like the IDEA of a tie dye cake...

Leah Hollett said...

Those are ALL hideous, however, I am thinking the tie-dye one was hard to do. Thanks for cakewrecks! Makes my day, everyday!

Trevor said...

Really, the first cake is for a baby shower? Wow, I suddenly don't feel so bad about the baby shower cakes I've done! Thanks for that.

And you really let the second "cake" off easily. There's a lot more wrong with that cake than just the green streaks and the fact that it's a CCC. What's with the yellow stuff all over the cake? Are they supposed to be worms?

ajnabi said...

Did someone leave the top cake in the box for the whole nine months of pregnancy?

(Er... I *do* like the tie-dyed one. I'll be limping for a week from the sardonic look, though, if it makes you feel any better.)

Kara said...

The first one is obviously trying to inform us about pollution and climate change.

The last one is like a Rorchach's. I see a mermaid!

Rileysowner said...

The first one just looks . . . well . . . words escape me. But worse, is number 2. Are those black olives on to top corners?

Winona said...

I LOVE the tie-dye one! That had to be hard - and I actually think they kinda pulled it off. Sardonic look received.

Ed said...

Hey, I think I have the shirt that was the model for that tie-die cake.

sugarapplesweet said...

*raises hand* Yes, I am one of those who like the tie-dye cake, but many already consider me to be a tasteless hippie which means it not all that surprising.

However, maybe it's also nostalgia since that cake looks a lot like the spin art I used to make. ^_^

As for the others... well... Why do people insist on using green for a background? I love green, but on cakes it just looks unappetizing.

~ Peace and Love

northern_hunter said...

I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Crystal Copeland said...

I WOULDN'T eat the first one. It looks like its been around awhile and it's made of mold. Gross!

karajaneg said...

Yep. Sorry, Jen. I like the tie-dye cake.

Leslie said...

The first one is obviously a shower cake because she's going to be seeing that color a LOT in the next few months.
The second one I swore said "Here Lies Sarah Heathen's Youth"...I thought maybe she grew up in one of those disapproving families that didn't go for you finding your own spiritual calling. (unclean, unclean!)
I won't say I like the tie dye, but it gives me happy memories of ruining my friend's bedroom carpet with one of those paint swirl things, aka Centrifuge Junior.
And that last one is almost vaguely Van Gogh...as re-created by his three year old nephew.

Mommy of M's said...

I have to admit, I do like the tie dye one....

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

The first one looks like something is growing on it, so I'm not sure you'd want to eat that one. The tie-dye may not be too bad in real life... would have to see it. I give them propsfor trying a difficult idea (I'm guessing a request, I'd hope they'd only do that with a request). It's a little too much though.

Blalock said...

hahaha The fingerpaint comment. Oh so funny.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Here lies three dead pieces of poop.

Nastiness.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Judy said...

I agree with Maria, I like the TOP of the tie Dye but the rest of the decorating on it is....UG-Leeeee!!!!

Rachel said...

Wow, I need to remember to NOT be drinking something while reading about the wrecks....it almost came out my nose! Let me give you a sardonic look back! [sardonic look] Even more crippling, right? OK, maybe not.

Oh, and the word verification: winsu. I kid you not.

Judy said...

Hmm...about the last cake.... I've seen alot of amateur cake decorators come and go and one thing that has constantly amazed me.... No matter how ugly the cake they produce....there is always a customer out there willing to buy it it. Yep...makes me shake my head every time. But someone WILL buy that cake. I can almost guarantee it. I don't understand it but that doesn't change the fact. Wait...( Light bulb click) Maybe thay're buying them only to show them on cake wrecks.....Nope! (sigh!)

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Is the first cake from a baby shower in 1972? All that green and orange!

Leah said...

The tie-dye cake reminds me of spin art. Now that would be a fun way to decorate a cake.

drgns4vr said...

These are really awful looking. Let's do some classes on color and color mixing and what makes an appetizing looking cake and... oh, never mind, I'm not going to those parties anyway.

WV=symplum for those times when your cake wrecks and you need more than sympathy.

very married said...

they all look awful. mushy and awful.

V. Nicharico said...

LOL, yeah I do like the tie-dyed cake...but only cause I think I have that exact same shirt. Without the horrible border stuff, of course ;)

Mel said...

I LOVE the tie dye cake! The rest are hideous, though.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Yes, your sardonic look is very crippling lol. The tie-die cake looks cool :D

Dorci said...

Ack! The horror.

kyooty said...

they all look familar to me, oh wait it's the vomit look!

W. A. Whipple said...

#1 looks like a recycled Hallowe'en cake - it looks like a sugar bat was removed making that white "void" on the left, and maybe the orange blobs are pumpkins?? But I don't get the orange+green=brown airbrushing.

#2 would make more sense if the brown blobs were more grave-mound shaped. Man, that's ugly.

#3 is kinda cool. :D And I am immune to your sardonic look, as I am wearing my specially-coated glasses this morning. Had I been wearing my contacts, the blow might have been fatal.

#4 0_o Huh?! Utterly baffled by that one. Hallowe'en again? (What else could that color combo be part of?)

Anonymous said...

The "tie dye" cake looks like the last thing Commodore Decker saw as he entered the Doomsday Machine!

Cat said...

Sorry, mang. I like the tie-dye cake.

But still, I wouldn't order it for anything. I'm sure it tasted good, nevertheless.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Maria - I like the *idea* of a tie-dye cake, and the top isn't so bad. But the sides... egads.

It actually reminds me of the little paint spinner I had as a kid. Insert a card, drip paint, and ta da! tie-dye style post cards. Or, in my case, tie-dye style trash since I don't think we ever did anything with them.

However, that method probably wouldn't be good for doing a cake, though cleaning the mess off of the walls would be tasty.

Jasry said...

Why does the second one have cannon balls piled in the corners??
And the tie-dye one.... Like Maria said, I like the IDEA of a tie-dye cake. This one is rather too sloppy and hurts the eye more than I'd expect from tie-dye.
The first one defies the comment-generating portion of my brain right now. Wow.

Pink said...

That first one looks like it's been sitting in the box for the last 20 years...and something was removed where those white blotches are. Not appetizing in the least!

Jen - devourer of books said...

That tie-dye cake is a masterpiece in that it manages to look kind of cool (they did the tie-dye effect well) and monstrously ugly at the same time.

Anna Uncorked said...

I'll admit it - I liked the tie dye - but I should disclose that I have a substance abuse problem.....

Anna said...

Haha great blog! Not so great cakes... :P
I had no idea that you could do a cake with cupcakes...? :S
But I´m from Sweden, so I don´t know. Anyway, love the blog!

Kami said...

Oh, wait, that last one, isn't it supposed to be a version Starry Night? Except it's missing blue ... hm ... You're right. It's a 3-year-old's finger paint job on a cake.

*snerk*

Unknown said...

Are you sure that's a tiedye cake... and not SPIN ART? I was a spin art artist when I was about oh, 7.

Little Scarf Girl said...

The tie-dye cake isn't bad...just a little too glaring. The others, though! *shudder* Hidieous color combinations.

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: what were they thinking? Especially the one for the baby shower? :)

PerkinsClan said...

First word I thought of when I saw the tie-dye, "SPLAT." Seriously. Don't you think that's what a rainbow cake would look like if it hit the floor?

Sonya said...

LOL to the Trekkie reference it does look like that! Wouldn't the tie die look like tie die, and better, if it was airbrushed? Not only does the 1st look like it has been sitting in the back for a looong time, did they sell it with the boo boo on top?

ThoughtfulAct said...

I'm sure they are all beautiful on the inside. "...that's better than not pretty at all...too bad i'm an outside pretty kinda [gal]..." (http://www.tabcrawler.com/search.php?show=viewfile&letter=m&artist=misc%20unsigned%20bands&tabname=ceann%20-%20pretty%20on%20the%20inside&tabtype=chords&id=55410)

(the tie-dye *IS* fun--and much like spin art!)

Jade said...

I'm a hippy, I admit it... I like the tie dye cake, moreso because it makes me wonder how the heck they did that any way.

Do you think the piped different colors in a spiral and then pulled a spatula through it?

Melinda said...

I like the tie dye cake too! Not the squiggly blue stuff, or the attempted tie dye sides (maybe, is that what they did?) or the bottom. But the top is cool.

I agree with you on the rest though. Hideous. I would have cried if that showed up at my baby shower. Heck, I practically cried at my actual baby shower cake because the trim was the wrong color.

cakelady72 said...

What's with the glossiness on that first one? And I don't even know what that last one is supposed to be. It's almost like they had leftover frosting and then made the cake. Badly. Are there really that many people who do this for a living and don't care? I would be embarrassed if I made these.

Anonymous said...

Boy, that first one...yecch. And I would like to know the thought process behind the last one. (Actually, I'd like to know the thought process behind most of the cakes on this site.)

But I think we have a great opportunity presented with the second one. If the submitting Heather is also the Heather whose youth lies in that sketchy cake, I have a few questions. First, what are the brown things in the middle of the cake? My guess is open graves--was that explained to you? Secondly, how did you respond to receiving this cake? Obviously, you thought it would be perfect for cakewrecks and grabbed a camera (nice work), but how did the whole presentation go down other than that? Third, who gave this to you, and are you still friends?

~kate

Anonymous said...

maybe i should become a cake decorator at my local supermarket because it looks like i could some easy money and not really show up -- or be distracted by all the things of life... or maybe even take long naps... seems like a better job than the one i have to work hard at (although i probably wouldn't be able to read your blog during work hours...)

Susan said...

I have to say..........being the age that I am......I DO like the tie-dyed one.........and stop with that sardonic look.......my head is hurting!!! ouch!ouch!

My Big Fat Super Super Obese Blog said...

The third cake is just misunderstood. I think the wreckerator was going for an impressionistic feel. Am I the only one who thinks "Monet" when I look at it. Of course you know what they say about Monet's nowdays don't you? If you don't check the urban dictionary :)

Anonymous said...

Fingerpaint cake: it's always darkest after the...no, that's not right.

sendingtheclowns said...

AUHhh, my throbbing temples...
What really bothers me--nay, haunts me--about the first cake is the LOOK on the little crescent moon's FACE. I think of it has a "he." Click on to enlarge the photo--go on; I'll wait.
Now, look at it. REALLY look at it. Do you see it?? He looks positively lost, as if he has no idea how he ended up in such a situation. And he doesn't think he likes it there in Gloomy Land. In fact, he looks kind of aghast, or that he knows that he is stuck, with no way out. Poor little moon.
And what about those wonky little blobs adhering to the sides of this creation like barnacles? They almost look like chick peas, but with fleas. I just don't know.
The only redeeming thing (ha ha) is that if you look at the thing at an angle (tilt you head to the right), and squint really hard, you can make out a sort of smiley face wherein the moon is a *smile*, and the pale, yellowy blobs can play as the (unevenly aligned) eyes and one crooked eyebrow.
No, I am not *on* anything.
=^!!^=

Sharon said...

The cake with the moon on it is eeew. A mustard yellow-pea green sky for a baby shower? with uncloud like blobs. After studying it a bit, I can't decided if the white is where the airbrushing cracked or if someone pulled some things off it. Some of the lumpiness might be an illusion created by the airbrushing, but the ragged edges sez it's not. That scalloped lace-like cake stand under it just makes the whole thing worse, not better.

The 'over the hill' cake looks like the decorator was still in elementary school. Bright green airbrushing looks like crayon scribbles, the random yellow squiggles, the cannonballs, the poo graves surrounded by greener grass..lol. What are those 'cannonballs' anyway? They remind me of the fake grape clusters in a bowl of artificial fruit my granny had.

I do like the top of the tie-dye cake, but not the sides. Shoulda gone with a solid color. I'd like to know how they made it.

the bottom one I guess was suppose to be a Mardi Gras cake.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha on the tie dye cake ~ we went to a party recently that had one, except much, much worse than your hideous example (think finger paints overdone... it was kinda muddy ick color). The first thing my son whispered in my ear upon seeing said cake: "Mom, did you bring your camera? That is SUCH a CakeWreck!"

Elle said...

The TOP of the tie dye cake is lovely. The trim and sides are fugly.

Mella said...

I think the sky is blue or black (at night ) . This looks like an atomic afterglow

Jess said...

Honestly, there are so few cake wrecks that are so bad that I would not eat them. Most are just a tragic case of "caveat emptor."

But really, that first baby shower cake is disgusting. I would actually try to avoid eating that.

Jessi said...

Those are some UUUUGGGGLLLLYYYY cakes.

I don't like the tie dye one and I am the queen of tie dye. I like the idea of the tie dye cake, I in fact, really want to like the tie dye cake. I was soooo ready to be all mad at you for bashing it, but it was actually just sort of wrong. I know how we hate the airbrush around here, but I bet you could do a wicked tie dye cake with an airbrush.

Redd said...

I can understand the moon on the baby shower cake, I can almost understand the yellow roses (They would have worked better if they weren't, you know, ancient) I don't understand the green and yellow sky. My thought is this was a cake for a baby shower 20 odd years ago that for some reason, didn't happen. The new momma then held on to that cake, and when her baby was ready to have a babyshower of her own, she brought it out.

WV: finesobs. When the customers saw these cakes, they all emmited finesobs.

Tasteless Hippie said...

I'm not overly fond of the tie-dye cake.

Unknown said...

I confess! I like the tie dye.

Margaret said...

So I'm guessing the first one was an attempt at a peaceful night scene -- moon and probably clouds. So yes, a muted, darker colour on the background. But honestly, how could you see the result and not realize you had made a horrible, horrible mistake?

joyce said...

The first one looks like it is missing something---and the box is tall. Maybe it had a cow on it, as in the cow jumped over the moon??

The rest are colorful, but ugly.

My name is Michelle. said...

My two year old really liked the second one. He said, "Oh yah! Cake bug!"
Hehehehehe, enough said.

Anonymous said...

My comments on each cake in a poem:

Ow! This mess, it hurts my eye!
Yikes and this! Its my appetite thats died!
Bajeezus thats a painful sugar tie-dye!
And lastly all I have to say is "Why?"

Cringe,Twinge
Puke and retch, these are all wonderfully and horribly disastrous wrecks. =)

everythings-coming-up-millhouse said...

I think the last one looks like a frozen tv dinner... There's some carrots... whole lot of peas... a brownie?

Unknown said...

Yuck doesn't sum up my feelings on the first one. Makes me think the baby puked up strained peas all over the birthday cake.

The tye-dye? I've heard that's what you get if the baker is on an LSD trip. :op

Amy B.

Judy said...

FYI

The black "cannon balls" are not actually cannon balls they are a cluster of black plastic balloon decorations that many bakeries buy for over the hill cakes

Anonymous said...

When I become the Biggest Loser, I'm giving Cake Wrecks all the credit in my winner's speech! lol

ilovebabyquilts said...

I HATE the tie dye one! I am a connoisseur of gorgeous fabrics, being a quilter, and tie dye like this is horrifying to me. We quilters love batiks, but this is no batik.

Just a Small Town Girl said...

eeewwww...on all. I just don't understand these sometimes!

Anonymous said...

marion b-w
I laugh soo much at your witty comments!!!! love it,love it, love it! and the cakes euch!! Fungus flavour anyone?

Paula said...

The last one looks just like a salad from a good distance õ_õ

drgns4vr said...

I wasn't going to comment again, but that first one really reminds me of the petri dishes in 10th grade biology which might be a legitimate cake (well, maybe not), but for a baby shower,no.

Anonymous said...

What ARE those black balls on Heather's death cake?

And what are those reddish blobs? Something bloody? Eeeeewwwww!

That's a really gross cake. I don't think I could eat it.

Ummmmm. Pass, but thanks, really!

Trista said...

I think the tie dye cake sort of reminds me of those Mardi Gras King Cakes...only without the big hole in the middle, filling and all the beads and such........or maybe the colors just make me think of Mardi Gras. Who Knows?

TerraD said...

Love it! Good 'ol traditional cake wrecks! That first one is the worst; it looks moldy.

Anonymous said...

The first one is one of the least appetizing cakes I've seen you post, other than the window displays. How in the world did they manage to perfectly replicate MOLD on a cake?

And the last one is just a WTF cake. I have no words.

Anonymous said...

Sending the Clowns is right...the moon is a bit aghast at how he ended up on that cake. Also, if you tilt your head to the right, it really DOES look like a quirkly little smiley face...much better.
Why are there 3 freshly dug graves, when only two "youths" are being memorialized though? Scary...

Sue said...

Cake 4 looks like an unopened TV dinner. Mac'n'cheese, green beans, and stewed prunes. Mmm-Mmmm.

Christa said...

I swear the first one looks like it is a left over halloween cake. See the white spots that were the bats used to be...aaah now you see it huh? And the awful round orange flowers with mangled leaves...pumpkins still on the vine.
All I can say is WOW. I can't even believe we still find wrecks. The other day I saw one of those "balloon" cakes that looks like well you know.

Mamani said...

*shoots back a defiant-teenager-look*

I Love the tie-dye cake!It brings back so many far out memories. In fact, it has inspired me to recreate my old tie-dyed shirt collection.

Lyndsay said...

I'm not saying that I like the tie-dye cake, but I am kind of impressed that someone felt they could undertake such a challenge. I imagine it must have been a rather messy process in which fingers got continuously licked... eww.

Kae said...

Mind you, I'm not voicing MY opinion...but my son just looked at the tie-dye cake and said, "wow...that's a cool cake!"

Of course, he's three.

Anonymous said...

The second one I swore said "Here Lies Sarah Heathen's Youth"...I thought maybe she grew up in one of those disapproving families that didn't go for you finding your own spiritual calling. (unclean, unclean!)
I won't say I like the tie dye, but it gives me happy memories of ruining my friend's bedroom carpet with one of those paint swirl things, aka Centrifuge Junior.

And you really let the second "cake" off easily. There's a lot more wrong with that cake than just the green streaks and the fact that it's a CCC. What's with the yellow stuff all over the cake?
Sell Digital Products

HorribleLicensePlates said...

another vote for the tie dye cake. Kinda cool! Now pass me the cheetos

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that it's a tie-dye cake, and not just a blue cake that had a bottle of mustard, and a bottle of ketchup explode on the top of it?

Anonymous said...

I agree with some of the other commenters - I like the idea of a tie-dye cake. I do not like THAT tie-dye cake. Honestly, I think what it needs is more white space. You know how, if you tie the cloth really tight before dipping it in dye, you get lots of white space between the streaks of color? If you could get a cake like that, it'd probably look more like an actual cake and less like something the Sesame Street gang has been shedding all over.

~Elana

Hungarican Chick said...

Did someone pick the bats of the first cake? I am assuming those orange blobs resting on a nest of green squiggles are pumpkins. This sad attempt at a Halloween cake looks like the cakes you have posted that have been sitting in the window for a decade.

The second cake is just... well... It's just crap. If I went to go pick it up and the bakery handed me that cake, I'd give it back. It's amazing what they consider 'passable' these days. Yikes.

As for the tie-dye... well... I hate tie-dye to begin with, it reminds me of smelly VW buses and slow-witted, watery-eyed, armpity-smelling people with birkenstocks. Not exactly something that stimulates one's appetite for sweet cake. Blurgh.

NancyDaQ said...

The last one is a way to use up all the leftover frosting?

Michelle said...

That first one looks 10 day-old rotten Kraft Dinner (I used to have a really slobby roommate)

Zephra said...

I thought the tie-dye cake was cool too.

MetalNoir said...

I'm not big on eating things that are more than 65% artificial color, but the tie-dye cake kicks butt, aesthetically speaking.

Anonymous said...

(ducking from sardonic look) I'm just a hippie with no taste, I guess.

The other ones are pretty fugly.

Leslie :) said...

I agree with the person who said the first one looked like a Halloween cake that had some decorations removed, the white spot on the left is definitely bat shaped and the right side could be a spider on a web. The yellowish blobs up top just confuse me, are they covering something? Was somebody regifting a cake?

Scritzy said...

Was something taken off the first cake, where those two little blobs of white icing now rest?

The graveyard cake is gross.

The tie-dye cake is colorful.

The last one: what the hell is it?

Word verification: sapsh. "You sapsh just THINK I was drunk when I decorated that cake. *HIC*"

Momof4 said...

I'm with you, the tie-dye cake is ugly.

Little Lady Cakes said...

I love your site! I hope you don't mind that I linked to it!

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of a tie-dye but not the execution. I'm going to see if I can find it done better.

Diana said...

tie dye cakes are sooo easy to do!! And if done right they can come out so cute.

word verification: sumlan: "These cakes are only considered pretty in sumlan far far away."

spacedcowgirl said...

Yeah, I have to admit I like the tie-dye cake.

Are those things around the edge of the first cake supposed to be little babies/children? Or baby heads? That's what they look like to me, and if true, I don't think it was a good idea...

wv is flatomb. Seems quite fitting with the Over the Hill cake.

Fluffy Cow said...

They are all gross. But I am wondering... What is the thought process that leads to MAKING a tie-dye cake???

lauren said...

first cake - baby cake? looks like what you would find inside the baby's diaper! eek!

Anonymous said...

I believe the first words out of my mouth at the sight of the first cake was "WHA?" It made me speechless. That never happens! Never!

The tie-dyed one was disturbing to me because I wanted to like it but couldn't. I agree with Maria, I like the idea of the cake.

I so love this site, just so you know.

falcon said...

I have seen a good tie dye cake. However, that has to be the UGLIEST cake I have ever seen!!

Sheila said...

Actually, yes, I do like the tie-dye one!! :-D

A Fitness Minute with Pat Anderson said...

Love your blog! It's nice to know that even good cooks can have a bad cake day!
A fellow blogger,
Pat

Emily said...

You should do a post dedicated to well-done tie-dye....of which that is not one.

meauxjeaux said...

that last one had a very slight monet quality to it, don't you think? i mean, i didn't hate it...

~Anne said...

Sugarapple had it, the tie-dye cake is actually spin art. It's not totally horrible compared to the other two!

My favorite WV ever yet: wabizit Frequently said by those viewing cake wrecks? "Hey, wabizit that cake is supposed to look like?"

Sarah said...

My husband liked the tie-dye cake, and I thought it was ugly. I doubt he'll be crippled by your sardonic looks, though, I've given him enough of those that he's a bit immune to it now.

All I can say about those cakes is that OH man, some people really really REALLY should not be decorating cakes. It's just sad.

Chris the Yardsale Queen said...

The tie dye cake reminds me of those spin art pictures that kids used to be able to make at fairs etc. The paper spins around and you squirt paint at it.

L. R. Jonté said...

I actually saw that "over the hill" cake design in the special order book at my local bakery tonight.

It's not a great design to begin with, but damn. Also, it's meant for a sheet cake, not a CCC.

Emily said...

Those ARE fugly! I literally made the D-: face at the first one! Or maybe more like :-P only grossed out instead of playful.

Valraven said...

The tie-dye cake is a bit of an eye sore, but at the same time it looks damned delicious.

Maniah said...

My comment is so low it probably wont reach anyone.. But as a cake decorator that works primarily with Bakery Crafts and Decopac designs.... Sad to say, that Grim Reaper design is right on mark. Thats the way the demo page in the cake book looks. Or, at least, thats the way last years design looked. The new version is somewhat better.

Kathleen said...

the Tie-Dye looks a little like a Spin-Art cake! :)

Sal said...

I like the tie-dye one because it looks like an explosion and explosions are cool. Mmm... cake explosiony goodness...

Sioux B said...

No, No! Not Tie Dye! Spin Art!

But still seriously wreckitudinous.

Jesse said...

Modern art!

Anonymous said...

Yeah. So I think the idea of the a tie dye cake could be cute. But I feel like it requires limiting yourself to 2 colors and leaving copious amounts of plain vanilla buttercream so that the streaking/"tie dyeing" comes out like on a real shirt rather than like a hallucination of epic proportions.

holly said...

Ok, I like the tie dye one. I'd be happy with one like that for my b'day. But they call me a hippie at work anyway.

Kathryn H said...

My five year old son looked at the last one and said, "There's shrimp on it!" Looking at it more closely, he added " and lettuce and mashed up beans!"
After he pointed that out, I did notice a Swanson TV dinner vibe about it.

Anonymous said...

The first cake is obviously the post apocalyptic sky. The moon is sad because she is facing a celestial lifetime with her nuclear winter lover earth. The white blobs are fading mushroom clouds. It is a deep, philosophical commentary on the lonliness and despair of coming into the world in these times. Very appropriate for a baby shower cake. Welcome to the world, baby!

yotan said...

in defense of two of those cakes, it's very hard to get a good smooth "fade" color on frosting when you're using frosting dye because your bosses are too cheap to get an airbrush machine. (can you tell it is my woe?)

Anonymous said...

I can take the sardonic look like a man (even though I'm female) I actually like the tie dye cake.

Carrietastic said...

Yep, I like the tye dye cake. Sorry!

Tanya said...

I do love the "tie die" one! But it reminds me more of those kids paint spinners.

Hyena Overlord said...

Spin art..remember that? You put the piece of paper in the machine, spin it and pour paint on it. That's the tie dyed cake.

They're all examples of bad decorating compounded by more bad decorating.

wv. auddise. I have a friend who lives in Auddise...it's on the only #1 highway to Windsor.

hamburke said...

I was thinking spin art too. decorators do have turntables...

Anonymous said...

Even the little moon on the 'baby shower' cake seems to be begging to be saved!!!

Rachel said...

That's not a tie-dye cake - its a spin-art cake!!

Amanda M said...

That tie dye cake is making my eyes hurt. Make it go away! Wait, what's this? A red x in the corner? :-D

Anonymous said...

I'm glad there will be new posts. That first one just about made me gag.

Anonymous said...

I have to say I actually like the tie-dye cake. :)

-Angie

Letitia said...

O Cake wrecks, I love you.

I must say, though, the colors on the baby shower cake almost match what comes out of the diaper in the first few months of life...

Pearl said...

i think i just overdosed on food coloring by looking at those cakes. *blech*.

Anonymous said...

I'd like the tie dye cake if the base trim was the same nice blue/teal as the upper trim...

I mean, it actually doesn't look like a horrid representation of tie dye and didn't come out a sludgy brown mess... why the radioactive base trim though? Bit too loud and OTT there.

oregonian said...

Re: the last cake.

There' actually a perfectly valid reason to make a cake orange, black, yellow and green: the Oregon State/University of Oregon football game (aka The Civil War).

It's badly done (and a CCC), but the color concept isn't a total wreck.

Anonymous said...

i can't imagine a tasteful tie-dyed cake, but at least it took some obvious skill.
i'm pretty sure this will be my death: to have a heart attack while laughing at this blog.

Anonymous said...

I like the tie-dye cake, it'd be fun for a kids party or something similar. i mean, can you imagine how hard it was to freakin make that!?

Freya said...

do you guys seriously believe that first one is a baby cake? Does anyone besides my sister and me see the skulls lining the sides? and I'm with wendy, those white bits are certainly left over from when some one pulled the bats off the cake. I mean really, pumpkins moon, bat bits, and skulls. For a baby shower?!?! either some wreckporter wanted extra wreckie credit, or some baker needs a hearing aid. Admittedly, the moon could be scarier, and the pumpkins need some work, but they're not very good flowers either. Sitll a terrible cake though. I love your blog!

Scarlett Robyn said...

ha ha!!!! On the second one i couldn't quite work out what the word says after "lies". does anyone know?

Anonymous said...

The tie dyed one looks great! I love it! The first cake makes me vomit a little.

Anonymous said...

Love the tie-die, reminds me of the 60s, I'd buy it in a heartbeat..

Craig said...

So the first one is for a baby shower. Rosemary's Baby, perchance?

I first thought the next one said, "Here lies Sarah & Heather's Yorkie," but that couldn't possibly be right, even here. "Here lies Sarah & Heather's Youth" seems a kind sentiment by comparison. Gets ya right here (points to solar plexus).

Now to ponder why Sarah & Heather's youth required three graves...

Cupcakes Lady said...

The tie-dye cake....nah, its a mess. Whats to like? xx

emersonandrea11 said...

OMG! I am now starving. The cakes look so delicious.

I like the Green streaked nastiness AND a cupcake cake. Wow.

Can you post an article on how to bake one of this cakes here?

Thank you for posting anyway.


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